Drink My Words

once upon a time

Amelia Sauter — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 03:14:14 +0000

My lovey made this for me for V-Day.

I have a legitimate excuse for not posting anything on my website since December: I’ve lost my mind.

It’s true. Where once I was a mild-mannered, well-researched non-fiction food, cocktail, and humor writer, everything changed when I started writing a novel.

What non-fiction writer of sound mind would start writing fiction? Exactly.

It all started while we were on vacation in Florida for the month of January. Despite the best of intentions, I hardly tapped at my keyboard, except to type captions for the pictures of tiki cocktails I uploaded to Facebook. And then the novel hit me like the flu. No matter how hard I tried to hold it down, I couldn’t keep myself from vomiting words onto the page.

Now that I’m at 7000+ words, I have to admit it’s a progressive illness. A grave illness. Because I’m not just writing any novel: it’s young adult book. Like Twilight, but gay and without the vampires, or like Harry Potter, but gay and with more romance, or like the Hunger Games, but gay and no one has to kill each other.

The novel-writing bug definitely makes me uncomfortable, especially when it comes to character development. When writing non-fiction, your characters are already developed; your job is just to get to know them. With fiction, the process is much more mysterious. The characters are not pre-formed, nor can you force them to develop. I have had to wait patiently for my characters to show themselves to me on their terms, especially the teenage boy. He and I have been at a standoff all week. Most of my free time is spent trying to get to know him, and I’m sure my friends are growing tired of me talking about someone who only exists in head.

Though my mind is deeply lost, I swear I have accomplished a few other things in the past month. For example, I baked a chocolate cake on Valentine’s Day and ate the whole thing myself. (It was quite an amazing feat.) While in Florida, Leah and I (mostly Leah) blogged at www.alligatorteardrop.com. And today I spent some productive time on Pinterest.

Ha! Believe me, the words “productive” and “Pinterest” don’t belong in the same sentence. Any writer who says they use Pinterest to help them research their characters is either avoiding researching their characters, or is obsessively pinning pictures of shoes and weddings.

On that note, please feel free to follow my Shoe and Wedding boards on Pinterest. (www.pinterest.com/drinkmywords)

naughty or nice

Amelia Sauter — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 14:13:06 +0000

A Year Filled with Death 2012 calendars are available at www.lulu.com. If you go to their home page, they frequently have a coupon code that you can use for a discount or free shipping. Click here to purchase the calendar. Give the gift of Death this year!

give the gift of Death

Amelia Sauter — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:06:00 +0000

Now you can laugh in the face of Death every day! Twelve of your favorite Death cartoons have been compiled into a Year Filled with Death 2012 Wall Calendar. The Death calendar brings a morbid humor to brighten even the darkest of days, with Mr. Death taking on fashion, dating, chocolate, weather, taxes, holidays, and more.

A year filled with Death? Yes, please! You can preview the twelve cartoons HERE.

Order your calendar HERE (only $15 for this priceless artwork), or go to

http://www.lulu.com/product/calendar/a-year-filled-with-death-2012/18727016?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1

THANK YOU for supporting my Sharpie addiction, and my love of fine wine and cheap beer.

give the gift of hives

Amelia Sauter — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 16:44:54 +0000

This holiday season is brought to you by Hives®.

Ask your doctor about Hives®. Hives® are not for everyone. If you have had mental health problems, you should avoid Hives®. Side effects of Hives® include extreme agitation and suicidal ideation. Garlic, dairy, cookies, pie, caramel, cappuccinos, and anything else that tastes good may increase the effects of Hives®. Do not get Hives® unless you can tolerate a constant tickling sensation that increases to the point of torture when you think about it or when someone touches you. Hives® may drive you to drink excess wine, to drop your pants to show the raised red lumps on your thighs to family members, and to curse everyone around you silently as they eat garlic, dairy, cookies, pie, caramel and cappuccinos in front of you.

Hives®: the holiday gift that keeps on giving.

the wishbone murders

Amelia Sauter — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 21:53:19 +0000

how to never lose your keys again

Amelia Sauter — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:00:36 +0000

dog therapy

Amelia Sauter — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:41:45 +0000

When providing psychotherapy, one must be sensitive to differing cultural norms.

occupy mother nature

Amelia Sauter — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 19:27:05 +0000

suspicious death

Amelia Sauter — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 18:32:49 +0000

everybody wants to write a memoir

Amelia Sauter — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 01:13:02 +0000