give the gift of hives

This holiday season is brought to you by Hives®.

Ask your doctor about Hives®. Hives® are not for everyone. If you have had mental health problems, you should avoid Hives®. Side effects of Hives® include extreme agitation and suicidal ideation. Garlic, dairy, cookies, pie, caramel, cappuccinos, and anything else that tastes good may increase the effects of Hives®. Do not get Hives® unless you can tolerate a constant tickling sensation that increases to the point of torture when you think about it or when someone touches you. Hives® may drive you to drink excess wine, to drop your pants to show the raised red lumps on your thighs to family members, and to curse everyone around you silently as they eat garlic, dairy, cookies, pie, caramel and cappuccinos in front of you.

Hives®: the holiday gift that keeps on giving.